Helpful Ideas as You Prepare for Your New Baby
Fetal Movements
Be in touch with your newly developing baby. You should be feeling movement after about 20 weeks of gestation. By the time you are reading this, your baby should be moving around quite a bit. Take some time out of your day and feel these movements. If you think that the movements are decreasing contact your doctor.
Safety
Safety is a concern that spans all age groups. With increasing age and mobility the focus will change. The biggest concern is safety in the automobile. The law requires every baby to use a car seat. A baby is not even allowed to leave the hospital unless one is available. Therefore, you should have a car seat before delivery.
Fires in the home are always dangerous. Have a smoke detector and fire extinguisher in good working order. Know how to use them. Remember that many insurance companies offer a premium discount on homeowner’s and renter’s insurance when these devices are installed.
Always anticipate safety concerns. This is an important consideration when buying baby items and in preparing your home for your baby’s arrival. View your surroundings from an infant’s or toddler’s point of view. Small and breakable items, which can end up in their mouth, must be kept out of reach. Latches need to be placed on kitchen and bathroom cabinets BEFORE your child discovers how to open the doors.
Medicines and poisonous items should be kept high, out of reach. For some children they must be kept under lock and key.
Plan Ahead
The first few weeks at home can be very exhausting. Plan for at least part time help when your baby comes home from the hospital. Preparing meals ahead of time and freezing them is also a big help. Check the car for servicing. Have plenty of paper goods and toiletries on hand. A little preparation now will make the first few weeks a little smoother.
Smoking
Keeping the air clean for our children is very important. Numerous studies have shown that infants and children exposed to cigarette smoke have more colds, bronchiolitis and pneumonia than those who are not exposed. Colic and ear infections are also more frequently seen in babies who are exposed to cigarette smoke. For the health of your baby and for your self, stop smoking if possible. If you are unable to stop, always smoke outside and away from your baby.
Preparing for a New Sibling
A variety of behaviors may develop in older children when a new infant is brought home. These behaviors can be attention seeking, aggressive behavior, or even regression back to being a baby. Be ready for these responses. Sibling classes are provided by some hospitals to teach the older child about the development and birth of their baby sister or brother. This helps to reduce anxiety toward the mother’s hospitalization and to involve the sibling with the pregnancy.
Many children’s books tell stories of new babies in the home. These stories allow the child to identify with a character whose situation is similar in nature.
Tips for Preparing your Older Child
- Make changes in your home well in advance of the baby’s arrival.
- Inform the older child about their new baby brother/sister around the sixth month.
- Introduce your child to other children with a newborn sibling.
- Let your child feel the baby move. Explain that the baby is “growing inside”.
- Let your child visit the doctor’s office and listen to the fetal heartbeat.
- Avoid fostering unrealistic expectations about a “new playmate”.
- Be ready to cope with jealousy even before birth as mother becomes less accessible.
The Delivery
- Keep your child in familiar home settings while mother is away.
- Maintain contact with mother while she is in the hospital.
- Arrange for a familiar babysitter before delivery, and provide your child with consistent adult contacts.
- Encourage father to assume a heightened nurturing role for your older child while mother is in the hospital.
The Homecoming
- Have father carry the baby into the house to allow mother time to greet the older sibling in a relaxed manner.
- Allow your child to see and touch the baby at their own eye level.
- Bring your child a gift “from the baby”.
- Play down the baby during the first weeks while your older child gets used to the situation.
Growing up Together
- Allow your child to take part in the baby’s care and hold the baby.
- Have a supply of wrapped gifts to give to your child when friends bring gifts for the baby.
- Try to treat your children equally, even though the older child will not be entirely satisfied with equal treatment.
- Emphasize your child’s advantages of greater maturity and capability.
- Arrange special outings for your child alone with one or both parents.
- Let your older child have a bottle or other symbol of infancy if he requests it. He will soon find out it is not as fun as he expected it to be.
- Let your infant and child take naps at different times. This is difficult for mother, but allows each child individual attention.
- Encourage verbal expression of jealous feelings. Admitting jealousy helps your older child avoid feelings of guilt.
Tips for Babysitters and Daycare Selection
It is difficult to choose a babysitter or daycare center for your infant. Allow yourself two to three months prior to delivery to begin your plans for care. This is especially important if you are planning to return to work within two months of the baby’s birth.
In Closing
We hope to help you better enjoy your new baby and to guide you through the transition of becoming a family. If you have not come in to visit us and see our office, please do. We welcome guests. A prenatal visit can be scheduled at no charge. Just call to make an appointment.
Recommended Reading
General Infant Care
Your Child’s Health: A Pediatric Guide for Parents by Barton Schmitt, M.D.
Infants and Mothers by T.B. Brazaleton, M.D.
Toddlers and Parents by T.B. Brazaleton, M.D.
Touchpoints by T.B. Brazaleton, M.D.
The First Twelve Months by Frank Caplan
Your Baby and Child Birth to Age Five by Penelope Leach
What to Expect the First Year of Life by Eisenberg and Hurkoff
Parents Magazine
Breastfeeding
Nursing Mothers Companion by Kathleen Huggins
Nursing Your Baby by Karen Pryor
The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding by the La Leche League
Breastfeeding Your Baby by J. Walker and J.W. Driscoll
(available at St. Joseph Hospital Gift Shop)
Sibling Preparation
The Bernstein Bears’ New Baby by Stan Bernstein and Jan Bernstein
A Baby Sister for Frances by Russell and Lilian Hoban
A New Baby is Coming to My House by Chihiro Iwasaki
Nobody Asked Me If I Wanted a Baby Sister by Martha Alexander
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Your Child’s Health:
A Pediatric Guide for Parents
by Barton Schmitt, M.D.
This book is an excellent resource and is available at our office.