First Week at Home with
Your Newborn

Preventing Fatigue and Exhaustion

For most mothers, the first weeks at home with a new baby are often the hardest in their lives. You will probably feel overworked, even overwhelmed. Inadequate sleep will leave you fatigued. Caring for your baby can be a lonely and stressful responsibility. You may wonder if you will ever catch up on your rest or work. The solution is asking for help. No one should be expected to care for a young baby alone.

Every baby wakes at least once a night. The way to avoid sleep deprivation is to know the total amount of sleep you need per day and to get that sleep in bits and pieces. Go to bed earlier in the evening. When your baby naps, you must nap also. Your baby doesn’t need you to watch them sleep. If your baby is sick they will show symptoms. While you are napping take the telephone off the hook and put up a sign on the door saying MOTHER AND BABY SLEEPING. If your total sleep remains inadequate, hire a babysitter or have a relative or friend help you. If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to take care of your baby.

The Postpartum Blues

More than 50% of women experience postpartum blues on the third or fourth day after delivery. The symptoms include tearfulness, tiredness, sadness, and difficulty in thinking clearly. The main cause of this temporary reaction is the sudden decrease of maternal hormones. Since the symptoms commonly begin on the day the mother comes home from the hospital, the full impact of being totally responsible for a dependent newborn may also be a contributing factor. Many mothers feel let down and guilty about these symptoms because they have been led to believe they should be overjoyed about caring for their newborn. In any event, these symptoms usually clear by three weeks, as the hormone levels return to normal and the mother develops routines and a sense of control over her life. About half of women have the “baby blues” after childbirth. If you have any concerns about your feelings, talk to your doctor right away.

It is important for you to have some time for yourself each day. You need an activity outside of the home at least once a week such as going to get your hair done, shopping, visiting a friend, or movie. By the third week, setting aside an evening a week for a date with your husband or significant other is also helpful.

Helpers: Relatives, Friends, and Babysitters

As already emphasized, everyone needs extra help during the first few weeks alone with a new baby. Ideally, before your baby was born you were able to make arrangements for help. The best person to help (if you get along with her) is usually your mother or mother-in-law. If not, maybe a teenager who you know in your neighborhood or adult can come to your home several times a week to help with housework, wash or look after your baby while you go out or take a nap. If you have other young children, you will need daily help. Be clear when you ask for help on what you want the person to do. Your helper’s role may be for them to go to the market to shop, cook, clean house, wash clothes and dishes. If your newborn has a medical problem that requires special care, ask for home visits by a public health nurse.

The Father’s Role

The father needs to take time off from work to be with his wife during labor and delivery, as well as on the day she and his child come home from the hospital. If the couple has a relative who will temporarily live in and help, the father can continue to work after the baby comes home. However, when the relative leaves, the father can take saved-up vacation time as paternity leave. At a minimum he needs to work shorter hours until his wife and baby have settled in.

The age of noninvolvement of the father is over. Not only does the mother need the father to help her with household chores, but the baby also needs to develop a close relationship with the father. Today’s father helps with feeding, changing diapers, bathing, putting to bed, reading stories, dressing, disciplining, homework, playing games, and calling the physician when the child is sick!

A father may avoid interacting with his baby during the first year of life because he is afraid he will hurt the baby or that he won’t be able to calm the child when the baby cries. The longer a father goes without learning parenting skills, the harder it becomes to master them. At a minimum, a father should hold and comfort his baby at least once a day.

Recommended Reading For Fathers

The Birth of a Father. by Martin Greenburg

Families, Crisis and Caring, by T. Berry Brazelton

Visitors

Only close friends and relatives should visit you during your first month at home. They should not visit if they are sick. Remember to wash your hands before touching the baby. To prevent unannounced visitors, the parents can put up a sign saying MOTHER AND BABY SLEEPING. NO VISITORS. PLEASE CALL FIRST. Friends without children may not understand your needs. While visitors see the new baby they should pay special attention to older siblings.

It is also a good idea for you to have small little gifts for the other siblings, in case a visitor comes over and has only a gift for the baby.

Feeding Your Baby: Achieving Weight Gain

Your main assignments, in the first few months of your new baby’s life, are to love and feed your baby. All babies lose a few ounces during the first few days after birth. Most bottle-fed babies are back to birth weight by 10 days of age, and breastfed babies by 14 days of age. After that infants gain approximately an ounce per day during the early months. If breast milk or formula is provided liberally, the normal newborn’s hunger drive ensures appropriate weight gain.

A breastfeeding mother often wonders if her baby is getting enough to eat, since she can’t see how many ounces the baby takes. Your baby is doing fine if they demand to nurse every two to three hours during the day, appears satisfied after feedings, takes both breasts at each nursing, wets eight or more diapers each day, and passes four or more soft stools per day. Whenever you are worried about your baby’s weight gain, call us during office hours. Feeding problems detected early are much easier to take care of than those detected late.

Dealing with Crying

Crying babies need to be held! They need someone with a soothing voice and a soothing touch. You can’t spoil your baby during the early months of life. Overly sensitive babies may need an even gentler touch.

Taking Your Baby Outside

You can take your baby outdoors at any age. Dress the baby with as many layers of clothing as an adult would wear for the outdoor temperature. A common mistake is overdressing a baby in the summer. Cold air or winds do not cause ear infections or pneumonia. Crowds and camping should be avoided the first few months of life. Also try to avoid any contact with sick people during the first year of life.

The skin of babies is more sensitive to the sun than the skin of older children. Keep sun exposure to small amounts (10 to 15 minutes at a time). Protect your baby’s skin from sunburn with longer clothing and a hat with a brim. Sunscreen is not recommended in babies under six months of age. Remember, if you are around a lake, ocean, or pool the suns rays bounce off the water and can burn your baby even if your baby is in the shade and not directly in the sun. Your baby’s skin is thin and is more sensitive to the sun. Protect your child’s eyes from the glare.

The Two or Three Week Well Child Exam

This checkup is probably the most important medical visit for your baby during the first year of life. By two weeks of age your baby will usually have developed symptoms of any physical condition that was not detectable during the hospital stay. We will be able to judge how well your baby is growing from his or her height, weight, and head circumference.

This is also the time your family is under the most stress of adapting to a new baby. Try to develop a habit of jotting down questions about your child’s health or behavior at home. Bring this list with you to office visits to discuss with us at your visit. We welcome the opportunity to address your concerns.

If at all possible, both parents should try to come to these visits. We want to get to know both parents during well child exams rather than during the crisis of an acute illness. If you think your newborn is sick between these routine visits, be sure to call us.

Adapted from B.D. Schmitt, M.D., author of “Your Child’s Health,” Bantam Books.

Provided as a service to medicine by Wyeth Pediatrics,

Makers of SMA* and Nursoy* infant formulas

*Registered Trademark